So, last night I was doing a little boning up (ha! I kill me!) on that crazy old skool demonology temptress, the succubus.

Now, you’d think that such a titillating topic would be well-worn ground on the Internet and in the arts at large. Nay, but not so. Googling and plugging in my library card number over at the Nipple’s special digital collections turned up a poem here, a Matheson novel there, GHOSTBUSTERS… but not, much to my chagrin, any dramatic medieval accounts of the terror in action. I can’t help but sadly conclude that the succubus is nothing more than an old wives’ tale, which lives on primarily through two dozen some-odd run-of-the-mill video games.

And then, there are the whack jobs.

Behold, exhibit A. Then there’s this guy, who is convinced that the threat is real and that no one is safe (note: speaking of safe, I suggest that you wait ’til you’re at home before checking out his photos page). Lastly, there’s this movie here:

One night, the succubus tries to make love to Larry, but Linda is not asleep and catches the she-beast only to rip off the mask of a charming visage to reveal Yves-Nine- a girl who works at the local Burger King® and will do anything for money. By using mirrors and invisible wires, Yves-Nine has been masquerading as the succubus by hire of Jackie and her no-good husband. It is revealed that Jackie has a drinking problem and the ex-cons go back up the river.

Just when things have settled down to a comparative calm, the lid of the trash can flies open, and the discarded Kleenex® box holder is back in action. The legend was true after all!

Yeah.

So. If anyone has any good folklore leads on the succubus, feel free to pass ‘em along. Otherwise I’m just sort of, uh… scrapin’ bottom.

That’s it on the puns for the evening.